Dating after a long term marriage

Posted by / 11-Dec-2017 13:47

Dating after a long term marriage

Shidduch is the Hebrew word for a marriage match, and Orthodox Jews (including the more assimilated Modern Orthodox) now refer to the excess supply of unmarried women in their communities as the Shidduch Crisis. Or maybe it’s the women who are holding out for the Mormon or Jewish George Clooney?

Mormon and Orthodox Jewish leaders alike fear that their respective marriage crises reflect some failure to instill proper values in young people. In fact, the root causes of both the Shidduch Crisis and the Mormon marriage crisis have little to do with culture or religion. The fact is that there are more marriage-age women than men both in the Orthodox Jewish community and in the Utah LDS church.

The dating game is rigged, but the problem is not strategic — it’s demographic. Multiple studies show that college-educated Americans are increasingly reluctant to marry those lacking a college degree. It’s not that He’s Just Not That Into You—it’s that There Just Aren’t Enough of Him.

" data-medium-file=" quality=85&w=194" data-large-file=" quality=85&w=388" class="wp-image-4000670" src=" w=560&quality=85&w=321" alt="" width="321" height="496" Today, mainstream dating guides tell the everything-going-for-her career woman it’s her fault she’s still single—she just needs to play hard to get or follow a few simple rules to snag Mr. This bias is having a devastating impact on the dating market for college-educated women. Lopsided gender ratios don’t just make it statistically harder for college-educated women to find a match. According to sociologists, economists and psychologists who have studied sex ratios throughout history, the culture is less likely to emphasize courtship and monogamy when women are in oversupply.

Like several other western states, Utah actually has more men than women.

Utah’s ratio of men to women across all age groups is the fifth highest in the nation.

Most marriages are loosely arranged—“guided” is probably a better word—by matchmakers such as Elefant.She shared stories of devout Mormon women who wound up marrying outside the religion—officially known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints—simply because they had no other options. ”—who gave up on finding a husband and decided to have children on their own.Said Hunt, “My heartstrings are pulled daily.” wo thousand miles away in New York City, Lisa Elefant knows exactly what Hunt is feeling.“You have no idea how big a problem this is,” said Tristen Ure Hunt, founder of the Mormon Matchmaker, a Salt Lake City dating agency.Hunt, a 35-year-old who only recently got married herself, told me she has three times more single women than single men in her matchmaking database.

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“Wow,” he said, “that sounds a lot like the Shidduch Crisis.” I had never heard of it, but the Shidduch Crisis turned out to be a marriage crisis among Orthodox Jews remarkably similar to the one afflicting Mormons.